It recently dawned on me that our parents and family have suffered and grieved the loss of our Green Beans in a similar way that Josh and I have. We didn’t just lose our children; my parents lost their grandbabies, my siblings lost their nieces and nephews, and so on... Over the past year, I’ve been so consumed with our loss that I haven’t considered my family's feelings as much as I would have liked to. Now that I am getting a (somewhat) clearer mind, I asked my parents to share their thoughts and feelings on the subject. This is an important perspective that I think often gets ignored in all the chaos. Beware – it’s a tear jerker (at least for me anyways).
My Daddy writes:
We thank God for Lauren, Josh, and their “Green Beans”. This past year has been a mixture of sadness and joy. The days of sorrow and crying have moved on to hours and then on to moments (though sometimes the hours return). By the grace of God we are now often filled with joy in knowing that Heidi, Lily, Paige and Rylan are walking with Jesus in Heaven. One day we will all meet in Heaven and get to know them better.
We are proud of Lauren and Josh. They worked relentlessly to save their babies. Many weeks were spent in the hospital and throughout Josh rarely left her side. We went to visit often and would spend a couple hours with them. Only once in a while would Josh take the opportunity to go check on things at home. He was never gone for long. He was with her day and night.
We saw Lauren suffer much physically lying in the head down – feet tilted up position. Her feet did not touch the ground for weeks. Eating and digesting was a struggle, but she persevered. She wanted these babies. The last few days were the worst. It was hard for us to watch the physical pain she endured especially from the Magnesium treatments. Even harder for us to see the emotional pain when she pPROM’d, hoping and hoping the babies would hold on. We had only been home a few hours when we got the call that the babies had come. When we arrived the babies were already still. We touched them as the nurses gently cleaned them and clothed them. Josh and Lauren had been able to hold them as they died in their arms, and were now exhausted and thoroughly drained. Soon after her release Lauren had to reenter the hospital. She was so ill and weak that we were facing the possibility of losing our sweet Lauren as well. After a couple days, thankfully, she began to recover and a few days later she was able to return home.
We thank God for all of you following their story on their website. Your prayers and comforting comments have been a help to Lauren and Josh and us also. It is wonderful to know that so many people care for them and their babies. We also pray that God will bless all of you especially those who have also suffered the loss of their babies.
We pray that God will bless Lauren and Josh with children again. We pray the Green Bean Angels will watch over them (Matthew 18:10b –“ For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven.”).
We are confident (John 6:23b – “the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord) that we will see them in heaven. What a grand reunion that will be!!
In God’s Love,
Gene and Fran