I’m not going to sugar coat this. This was the worst Mother’s Day ever. Last year, Josh and I tired our best to go with the flow. Go to brunch, have a nice relaxing day together, but still it felt really weird. Now one year later, it’s Mother’s Day, and every minute of it hurts. I just don’t feel like I belong. Mother’s Day is a day that Dads and kids show their love and appreciation for their hard working Mom. That is not me. I don’t do any of those daily duties for my children; I don’t do their laundry, cook, or clean for them. It’s just a day that makes me feel alone and awkward.
Feeling this way also takes me away from celebrating MY Mom on Mother’s Day, and it’s not fair. I can’t get past the awkwardness and the sadness, so I don’t really say or do much. I was able to get through this morning pretty well, and my parents, Josh and I went to church and then had a nice lunch at our house afterwards. It was nice, but I was glad to retreat to the couch for the majority of the day afterwards.
I really do appreciate all the “Mother’s Day” wishes that I was sent. It’s sweet of you to think of me, and to remember my Green Beans. I know I’m still considered a Mother, but it’s just not the same as having a child in your arms on a day like this.