Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Jesus Calling

HA :)  Jesus really IS calling!

jesus calling phone

"Entrust your loved ones to Me; release them into My protective care.  They are much safer with Me than in your clinging hands. If you let a loved one become an idol in your heart, you endanger that one - as well as yourself.  Remember the extreme measures I used with Abraham and Isaac.  I took Isaac to the very point of death to free Abraham from son-worship.  Both Abraham and Isaac suffered terribly because of the father's undisciplined emotions.  I detest idolatry, even in the form of parental love.

When you release loved ones to Me, you are free to cling to My hand.  As you entrust others into My care, I am free to shower blessings on them.  My Presence will go with them wherever they go, and I will give them rest.  This same Presence stays with you, as you relax and place your trust in Me.  Watch to see what I will do."

This is an excerpt from Jesus Calling really hit home for me. My cousin-in-law, Hannah, shared this on her blog recently and it motivated me to start reading this myself.  It’s only been a few days so far, but I’ve loved every daily message so far!  It’s short, easy reads, that are great reminders of God’s presence and His ways. Jesus Calling

The August 23rd message really spoke to me because it is so applicable to what I deal with on a daily basis with my timeshare schedule with Taylor. It’s filled with extreme highs (when I have Taylor in my arms) to extreme lows (when’s she’s gone for a long weekend at a time). It’s tortuous for a mother to not be able to be with her child every day. When I drop her off at school, knowing that I will not be the one picking her up that afternoon, my “Mom Hat” never comes off. You still think of her all the time, wondering what she’s doing, wonder what new things she’s doing, wonder what she ate, wonder what she’s thinking, wonder who’s she with, and wonder if she is missing me or wondering where I am.  It’s heart wrenching.   I worry about what she understands about one day Mommy picks her up and some days Daddy picks her up.  I wonder if she’s thinking, when will I see Mommy again (and vice versa)? 

The “good” thing is (if you can find good in this) is that this is all Taylor will ever know. This is her normal, so that’s good.

The Jesus Calling book really put me in check here. It helped me realize that I don’t need to carry all the burden of worry on my shoulders. It’s still going to be hard, but I know I shouldn’t worry. She is in God’s hands and she is much safer there than she is in my clinging hands.  I am entrusting Taylor in God’s care. 

“…as you relax and place your trust in Me.  Watch to see what I will do."


  1. I can only imagine the thoughts and feelings you have when you don't see Taylor daily. I agree with you that it might be easier for her since she was young when this started and it is her normal...no one else's but Taylors. I love reading your posts...please keep them coming!

  2. Lauren - I have been in your shoes for a REALLY long time! 16 years to be exact! I would love to say it gets easier, but I think when we love our kids with all that we have, it doesn't get easier! I still miss my daughter every time she goes with her dad. I pray that you and J have/ or can develop a decent relationship, as that is the greatest thing that you can give Taylor. It has not been that way for me, and it has been a real struggle. Just love her and enjoy every moment you have. I pray for your heart and strength in those days that she is away! Just know there is someone out there that TRULY knows how you feel! :0) Keep your chin up!

  3. Lauren, I always marvel at your strength through the challenges... I am so glad to know that Jesus walks with you always - especially through the rough patches. Hugs, hon.

  4. As a fellow woman who loves Jesus, doesn't it break your heart knowing that your daughter's father is a homosexual? God hates homosexuals and divorce. I will pray for your soul.