Monday, February 23, 2009
not a happy ending
Josh's grandma, Lillian). Just as things were getting tied up after her delivery, I got another horrible contraction. The doctors quickly scanned me with the ultrasound machine and saw that now C & D had moved to the birth canal and had to be delivered. The labor was
too strong and there was no way to stop them. In total disbelief, I followed the doctor's instructions and delivered C (Paige Elise) & D (Rylan Otto) minutes later. The NICU team was standing by to check each baby, but their lungs were not developed enough to resuscitate.
Josh and I got to hold all the babies, and the nurses dressed them up and took pictures. They were all fully formed, just a little too young still to enter this world. As you can imagine, I am in shock still and my heart will be broken forever. It's really hard for me to understand why God would put us through this. He says He'll only give us what we can handle, but I find that hard to believe right now.
I am so grateful that no matter what I have Josh by my side. He has been so supportive throughout all of this. I am also so, so thankful for my family for helping us out and continuing to pray. I know I can always count on them. I am also so thankful for all our loyal blog followers who continue to send encouraging notes and prayers. All the support has been amazing, and we couldn't have gotten this far without each and everyone of you.
•Sent from my iPhone•