I've been struggling with this post about Heidi a little because I didn't get a chance to "know" her like I did the other 3. Heidi PPROM'd at 17 weeks and then I had her at 19, and I never saw her or got to hold her. What I do know about Heidi, is that she is a very special girl. She came into this world a few weeks before my other 3, and when this happened we were of course very sad to lose her, but I felt that is was meant to be. We were at peace with it. She made the ultimate sacrifice to give her brother and sisters more room to grow up and be strong. It was a really courageous thing to do. After we lost Heidi I had a few weeks at home, feeling so good. I spent that time on strict bed rest, just eating and sleeping and the babies were thriving. For the weeks after we lost Heidi, and I was still pregnant with the others, I felt like God had given us our own personal angel to watch over us. Heidi, you are our first angel and will always be remembered for what you did.
Our little "Baby A" was named Heidi Michelle because of a couple reasons. First is because of her demeanor; she was the first of the quads to be conceived, and was very active and seemed determined. Her profile shot at 16 weeks resembled me a little, so we felt that she was best suited to be named after me, so we passed my middle name on to her. Heidi was another name that I've just always loved. For years, I've talked about my girls, "Heidi and Paige" that I'd have one day. I just knew those would be their names. I always pictured Heidi having blonde, curly hair and big blue eyes. I knew that they would be my daughters one day, I just never imagined that they would be angels...
Heidi at 16 weeks.
I never really saw Heidi, and we don't have any pictures of her. Honestly, I was a little nervous of what a 19 week gestation baby would look like, but I imagine her being just as perfect and beautiful as the others. Heidi, you were always meant to be an angel. You did a wonderful thing by giving your siblings a better chance at life. You will never be forgotten. Your Mommy and Daddy are so grateful for the time we did have with you. We miss you more than words can say... And we'll see you one day in heaven.
A picture of Heidi's actual footprints act as the background image to our 'Remembering The Green Beans' button.