rylan otto

I loved reading all your sweet comments about my Little Paige. It was really nice to just highlight one of my babies for a day, and to remember and honor just her. It is also nice to give you all the opportunity to "get to know" my babies the way I do.

Rylan is my sweet little boy. He was the youngest and smallest. He was the last to be conceived, and contently stayed in my upper, right side throughout the whole pregnancy. When I think about Rylan I feel guilty because I feel that my body pushed him out long before he was ready to enter this world. If it had been up to him, he would have stayed in there all 40 weeks. I know that I couldn't do anything about it, and since all his sisters came, it was inevitable that he would too. As I delivered Heidi, Lily, and then Paige, I grasped on to the very small possibility of Rylan being able to make it. I daydream of you still being with us, and I wish that at the least, you could have survived this and still be with us today. Even though you were our smallest baby, I just know that you were going to grow up to be a big, strong boy. I am at peace knowing that Rylan wanted to take care of his sisters in heaven, so that is where he is meant to be.

For the longest time, Josh and I were undecided about his name. I had mentioned the name before, but it was never really decided on, until the night he was born. Your Daddy and I looked at you, and we just said "Rylan". It was perfect for you. Otto has been a family name for many generations in Josh's family, so without question, we passed that name on to Rylan.

(I found this clip in the magazine I was reading after we picked his name. Some celebrity had just named their son Rylan too. I thought that was quite a coincidence since it's a pretty unique name.)

Rylan, we hope that we will be blessed with another baby boy one day, and when we are he will have your middle name to carry out your legacy.

Rylan never gave me any trouble. He was a perfectly sweet baby, and just wanted peace and quite in utero. Every time the ultrasound techs would try to measure him, he'd flip around or cover his face just to get some sleep. I have a feeling that he was going to be very confident and independent, like his Dad. Like I said, he contently stayed in his own corner as far away as possible from all the commotion the girls were always causing.

(Here he is covering his face)

Rylan, you are angel who was meant to be in heaven. I hope you are having the best time. We love you a miss you more than words can say.

Click here to read about Rylan's siblings:
Heidi
Lily
Paige