The Green Beans’ 4th heavenly birthday is already upon us. I’ve been dreading this day because I don’t feel like I have anything profound to say about them and nothing special planned to do on their day. For some reason I put this pressure on me to do something special, but I just can’t. There’s not much to say anymore. I remember them and honor them every day in some way, so with that, I know I am doing the best I can do. I’m sure over the years, the pressure to have a special day planned will lessen and I won’t feel so obligated.
I am so thankful to have my sweet Taylor by my side! She helped me make cupcakes and sample frosting for her big sisters and brother. We had such a fun time today listening to music, dancing in the kitchen, and decorating cupcakes.
I am so proud to be the mother to the Green Beans. I am blessed to have them as a part of me. They have changed me forever, for the better, and greatly impacted my faith and trust in Jesus! I look forward to spending eternity with my big family in heaven one day! They are a happy memory and I will remember and smile :)
(((((hugs)))))) i really know what you mean...i think of my girls every single day and in all that i do, i am affected by them. but that pressure of the "day" leaves me feeling guilty like i didn't do enough. so i really get it!!! your cupcakes are awesome - love seeing Taylor helping you. She is adorable!!!!
ReplyDeleteI couldn't help but feel your worry about whether or not you "show" you remember your babies in an outwardly special way. I can only say, from someone who doesn't and can't know your pain, that from your writing you show how much you love and honor them. I see how God has shown you much grace in allowing you to accept their small amount of time here on earth and yet smile when you think of them. Love is many things: Smiles, hugs, laughter, tears and sometimes pain. BUT, God is GOOD! ALL the time! If He knows your heart-and He does-He knows how much you love and honor all your babies, Taylor included. So to smile when you think of them is thanking God for loving you! Does any of that make sense? I just felt compelled to encourage you and hope I have. Many {{{HUGS}}}
ReplyDeleteBarbara W in Lake Wales
Songs for Lauren and Taylor:A new, original song called ” Lauren“ is on itunes CD
ReplyDelete“New Romantic Love Songs for Jessica, Ashley, Emily, etc..” Track 9.
http://itunes.apple.com/us/album/new-romantic-love-songs-for/id338387293
"Taylor" is on itunes CD
”More New Romantic Songs for Anna, Amber, Shelby..” Track 1
http://itunes.apple.com/us/album/more-new-romantic-songs-for/id338387816